What DON’T You Want? (A Featured Post on Brazen Careerist!)

Being goal oriented is important. Most people know that. It gives one a focus. A target. Something to both visualize from the spiritual standpoint, and something for which to plan from a more earthly standpoint.

Yet goals are things which we have not yet achieved. Which means they are in the future. Which means there are bound to be obstacles on our journey to completing them.

Sometimes we know exactly what our goals are. When we do, we can easily see most of the obstacles that lie in our way towards said goals. What we do not see right away becomes clear as we take that journey.

But what if you are not sure what your goal is at any given time? Or what if it is a very broad goal? (i.e. move to another city.) What then? How to focus and gain all of the benefits of a clearly defined goal?

First, take total stock of all current conditions pertaining to the subject at hand. Think really hard about every detail of your life. But instead of thinking so hard about what you want in the future, determine with as much specificity as possible what you do not like about the present.

Say you live in New York City. You want your life to change somehow. You want something different, but you can’t quite put your finger on what would make you feel better. Set that aside, and think long and hard about what you do not like about your current situation. Perhaps you are tired of crowds. Of noise. Or pollution. You may not know what you want to do next, but by isolating those things that make you most unhappy, you would perhaps have discovered  it is time for you to make your way to the suburbs, or perhaps a totally rural environment. Where or how is not important today. Just determine where you could go to be away from that which dissatisfies you.

Your job is ok, but you feel it’s time for a change. But a change to what? Is anything better than what you have now? How can you know? Again, think deeply about what it is about your job you simply cannot stand. Have you grown weary of all the traveling you must do? Do you miss being able to always be at home at the end of the day, instead of a hotel room somewhere else? Then perhaps this means you would prefer a desk job at this point in your life. Or at least a job that requires you to go only to one place during the day, and nowhere else. Again, you haven’t decided where exactly you are going next, but you have determined that one of your goals will be to research jobs that will allow you to stay in one place.

Many advise you to ignore that which is negative, and think only of your dreams, and what you want. But if you are like me, and sometimes Too XYZ to know exactly what you want to change, it can be of great benefit to determine what it is about your current situation that you most want to be rid of.

Don’t take this approach lightly. This should be the result of deliberate soul searching on your part. Because just as we are not always aware of what our goals should be, we are also not always sure what is bothering us about life. But take the time, and put in some mental/spritual effort, and it will come to you. And when it does you are one step closer to having an all important goal.

Have you ever made a life decision based at first on what you knew you didn’t want any longer?


  1. As regards the answer to your last question, yes Ty I have & not once but quite a few times. No regrets.
    Lovely article. Hope you're well. 🙂

  2. My answer, too, is yes for several times. When I thought I was picking a job because I liked what it offers, I misunderstood the job description or had too many expectations. When I picked a job because it did NOT offer something I hated, I was satisfied in general. THAT SAID, I still think that we should find a job based on what we want, not on what we don't want (or we should clarify what exactly we don't want until we can also become clear on what we want…).

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