10 Common Online Assessments Applied Offline

What if the metrics used online to determine the value of a person were applied to our offline interactions and relationships? The following assessments would not be uncommon:

A natural brunette who opts to dye her hair blond, and feels comfortable walking along the beach in a bikini will not fit into our corporate culture, because she is clearly a slut.

The man we see writing things into a notebook in the public library that will not allow me to read over his shoulder must have something to hide, or else why wouldn’t he be showing me what he has written? What is he hiding? He should have no expectation of personal privacy if he is going to sit down in a public library and write.
-After scouring every local newspaper, watching every local television news broadcast, and listening to every local radio station for over a week, I have not heard this applicant’s name come up a single time, anywhere. I won’t investigate him further, because if he had any talent, motivation, or value to offer, his name would be all over the place. Why would we want a nobody like that working in our company? 
-No doctor that drives a 1991 Ford Taurus is going to be allowed to treat me. If he doesn’t care enough about how he looks when he pulls into the parking lot of the hospital, how could he possibly care about his patients, or be intelligent enough to heal them?
-Even though she expressed an interest in what we are trying to accomplish, I refuse to listen to or acknowledge the opinion of the girl who sits by herself in the college lunch room at meal times and never comes to any of the dances or the parties. How could someone with no social life have anything worthwhile to contribute to the conversation?
-That gentleman has obvious talent as a painter, but he is barely making ends meet at his gas station job. Given that he hasn’t parleyed his artistic traits into a career that would allow him and his family to live comfortably for the rest of their lives, he is either lazy, or a coward. The only reason he is struggling is that he hasn’t done his homework.
-After a cost-benefit analysis I determined I really have no particular use for a botanist in my network at this time, nor do I think I have anything to offer the world of botany. So I opted not to shake his offered hand at the party last night. I prefer to preserve that energy for connections from which I can gain something while simultaneously contributing something in return.
-I came very close to hiring that electrician for my house. But she wasn’t smiling when I first saw her. How professional could she be? 
-Don’t hire any consultant who goes to a library to read magazines. If they cannot commit their time and money into subscribing to all of them personally, they won’t put the proper time or energy into your project.
-Over the weekend, four people left voice-mails on his office phone. But 14 people left voice-mails on her office phone. Clearly she is leadership material, and should be promoted over him as soon as possible. 

Sound ridiculous? That’s because they are. Until of course people sign onto the internet.

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