Reverb13 Day 14: Decisions, Decisions

tyunglebower ♦ December 14, 2013 ♦ 1 Comment

What was the best decision you made in 2013? What were the results? How will you continue the good work in 2014?

I’ve struggled for a while now to find deeper, more meaningful connections with more people. So it would seem at first odd for me to answer this question with the decision to give up on more people, more often. But that’s what I have done. Though the results are still in the infant stages, and it will take a while to fully implement, I feel nonetheless it is one of my best decisions from this year, and it can be broken down into little component decisions:

-I’ve decided to make my trust more difficult to obtain, so those that do are more likely to be choice individuals.

-I’ve decided to give fewer chances to people that are sapping my energies and testing my patience, so as to make, at least in theory, more room for those who will not do so. More room for people who may in fact enhance who I am as I enhance who they are.

-I’ve decided to be more frank and less tactful in certain situations. For years people told me I was too blunt, and blamed that for my lack of greater connection. After trying for years to be less blunt and meeting with the same results, I’m opting to be more open with what I am thinking and feeling again.

-I’ve decided my time should be spent mostly in service to people and causes that contribute to the vision of the world and society I want.

-I’ve decided that if someone doesn’t want to get to know me after a few tries, they are not worth trying to understand.

-I’ve decided that it’s okay to take notes before giving second chances.

-I’ve decided to expect less from other people so as to avoid attachment and disappointment.

-I’ve decided that eggshells don’t hurt, but they are a mess to step on, and I won’t be stepping on as many for as many people in the future.

-I’ve decided that being around someone a while doesn’t entitle them to anything, since my being around a while with others doesn’t entitle me to anything either.

The results of these decisions, and others, as I said, are still just coming in. But so far I have a greater sense of freedom and purpose. I sense that I will be more able to navigate the world to get the things I want without hurting innocent people, as well as not being hurt by the wolves in sheep’s clothing I have been trusting too often.

In a way, it may make me somewhat less warm in 2014, but only to an extent. My interactions, hopefully, will be thinner but deeper, like a well, instead of broad but more shallow like a pond.