“Me Too” Movement
Actress Alyssa Milano suggested on Twitter that women who have been the victims of sexual harassment state so by using the hashtag “MeToo.” The concept went viral on both Twitter and Facebook, and continues going strong.
Around the world, and, on my own Facebook/Twitter feeds.
For truly it is everywhere, and truly, it is pervasive in its effects on women.
When demonstrations or movements such as this arrive with the attention of calling out or bringing attention to sexual harassment, and other issues faced by women, the chorus of (mostly) men begin their “What about…” refrains in a counter protest as old as sex itself.
“What about the men that get sexually harassed? What about equal rights? What about the world’s view of us, and what about…..”
What about giving me, and the rest of the world a break with that shit?
To be clear, men are sexually harassed. Men can even be abused, raped, or silenced by shame or fear in wake of being such, and that’s not denied by any sane person. Yet if the only time the issue of male sexual abuse enters your mind enough to “speak out” about it is when a movement attempts top shine a light on the victimization of women, you cannot be that concerned with the issue of sexual harassment of any kind to begin with. What you are actually concerned with is establishing a false equivalence, wherein even in their victimhood women cannot in any way be in greater numbers than you and other “what about” men. What is intended as an exposure and education about the very real issue of sexual harassment against women, becomes instead a platform from which insecure men can remind the universe that they exist, and have known what a bad day is too, insisting that they are entitled to a hashtag.
Ignored in all of this is that they are free to create a hashtag. Ignored in all of this is the overwhelming statistical truth that a woman is not only more likely to be sexually harassed, but is also in a less powerful position, socially, professionally and physically to deflect or stop it than is the average man. It is such an obvious aspect of our society that more often men have more power, money, influence and political cover than women that it isn’t even a legitimate use of time to argue in favor of the point.
Pneumonia kills. Not always, but it can, and it does. Less so in this country than other places, but it happens. The sort of thinking described above applied to pneumonia would require a discontinuation of the study and recognition of the disease simply because in many cases, a patient did NOT die. “I had it and I’m fine today,” makes no better an argument to ignore pneumonia treatments than does, “Men get harassed too,” counter the victimization of women.
Tragically the “whataboutism” is the least insidious of all the reasons to shout down movements such as “Me too.” Horrible male insecurity and narcissism may be in that case, there are worse reasons to rail against “Me Too” and similar campaigns.
There is the notion that it’s all just “a joke” when men say such things to women. Set aside the fact that if it were just a joke, nobody should be getting this upset at being called out for doing it. If what you are doing when you harass a woman is a “joke” and you are told to stop, but insist on continuing to do it no matter how you are making a woman feel, because you have a “right to joke” or think we have become too “politically correct,” you’re not defending jokes at all. You’re defended your non-existent right to treat anyone in any manner you find entertaining. Nothing at all matters but what you think is a joke.
Ironically, (but not) there is plenty that such people would be offended by, should jokes be made about it. Tease them about something as insignificant as not being allowed into a particular showing of Wonder Woman, and watch them foam at the mouth about equality and rights. Tell them to calm down, that it’s just a joke on them for being men while you go watch the movie with only women, and you may need your mace at hand.
A similar position is, “it’s a compliment.” As much as many people would love to believe that “I want to suck your tits,” is an empowering comment to make to a stranger, who should be ultimately flattered by it, such comments are not compliments, because those who receive them do not view them as such. You are not commenting on an intrinsic positive quality in the person, only a desire you have for a specific piece of the anatomy; a piece they may or may not have any control over, but which they do not display specifically for you to ogle.
Which brings us to the next counter to “Me Too”. That women must want the sexual attention because why else would they wear a tight shirt with no bra? Because they feel like it, is of course the answer, but if that is not sufficient, consider the possibility that they want to look good for someone who is not you.
When you shout such things at women that you do not know, or those you do know, you do so with the assumption that they are engaging in a mating call, and that your ape grunts, if louder, faster and more persistent than the others will open her up to sharing your lust. It never enters your mind that she doesn’t consider you good enough for her, which she has a perfect right to determine.
It very well could be she likes the world to see her body, and see it they shall. But her willingness to show it doesn’t mean you have been given permission to say anything about it or approach her. Sorry, you’ll have to use magazines tonight, or find someone who is looking for you. But your presence in the same vicinity of a woman you find sexy doesn’t mean you will turn her on. Deal with it.
And while your at it, deal with it if she is wearing “modest” clothing and still doesn’t want you. Because if she doesn’t and you keep trying, you’ve define sexual harassment.
Ah, yes, “you can’t” deal with it. The oldest, worst, and least acceptable excuse of them all for obvious sexual harassment. Biology. Men are built to be horny, to spread their seed, to procreate. Because of this they are not, and cannot be expected to be in full control of themselves. Sex on TV, sex in the movies, sex in music. In all of these boys/men are bread to have women of a certain type, and it;s not their fault advertising works so well. But you, ladies could help stem this by dressing modestly, or giving more men a chance, or at least allowing them to catcall you, because men are built differently. It’s science.
Except it isn’t. In general, men cannot control an erection forming, and that’s about the extent of what they cannot control. (Even that can be mitigated if you put in a bit of effort beyond that of monkey.) You can control what you say, where you walk, what you look at. You do not have to do anything sexually. Believe it or not, you don’t even have to masturbate. But keep telling yourself that you do. Keep blaming the media, and keep following the incorrect assertions that a male is incapable of controlling himself once he gets to half-erection.
And when you get to believing it, you say things like “boys will be boys.” You’ll feel entitled to gratification from any woman that stirs you sexually. You’ll greet your daughter’s prom date with a shotgun slung over your shoulder because you assume he must absolutely be like you were/are, while later wondering why your son hasn’t “scored” yet or doesn’t date much.
In other words, you’ll be a prime perpetrator of sexual harassment.
“But not rape!”
Maybe not rape. There is a distinction between sexual harassment and rape. There is a distinction between “battery” and “assault with a deadly weapon.” You’re not exactly role model material if you commit the former instead of the latter. You’ll still a violent asshole. And you’re still a perverted masochistic bum if you’re okay with harassment even if you do not extend it to rape.
The comments are not a game. The following of a woman down the street is not boys being boys. Your non-erection reaction to scantily clad women is not a result of your being hostage to your hormones and rubbing, touching, patting or coming into contact with a woman without permission is not flirtation. It’s sexual harassment, and with movements such as “Me Too” I can either choose to believe that thousands of women, and more than a few of my own friends are just making it up, or I can choose to believe that sexual harassment of women is nearly embedded into the DNA of our culture, effecting nearly all women. (Whether they report it or not.)
“Women blow every little thing out of proportion into sexual harassment or rape because they like the attention.” A common jeer from this scum convention I’ve been talking about.
Attention? Really? If all they wanted was attention, why do you suppose they were doing everything they could to avoid yours? Could it be that in the morally bankrupt world of sexual manipulation, sexual harassment, and sexual violence, the ones who are truly, desperately, pathetically and dangerously pining for attention are those who have forced women everywhere to stand up and say “Me Too”?
I’m a man, in control of my mind, my actions, my dick, and my spirit. I’ll not allow anyone to claim otherwise, nor will I accept such claims from other men who judge the entirety of their existence and the ultimate fairness of the universe by how much sex they get, and how quickly they get it, upon demanding same.
A few people mentioned to me how they didn’t think I was being fair to male victims of harassment, and that no harm could come from them making use of the term to identify their victim hood. I embrace this notion in a broad sense, but still feel extra caution must be exerted. If in fact the movement is about women, (and that is where I have been coming from all along), I suspect there can be at least some collateral damage done, intentionally or unintentionally, because once again we run the risk of removing something that is about women, and making it about everyone, thus diluting the potency of the particular issue.
“If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote ‘Me too’ as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.” Is what Milano herself originally posted, and from that I came to believe that it really ought to be about the female version of this issue.
- Posted in: Miscellany ♦ Spirituality
Wow, Ty, this is just so amazing. I wish it could be published on the front page of every major newspaper in the country. I shared it on my page and if it is the only thong anyone ever reads there, I will be satisfied.
Thank you for your interest in this piece, and I am glad it spoke to you in someone way. My apologies for not getting back to approve your comment until now. Busy holiday times and such!