That’s sick. There’s a difference between sharing in a marriage and control. I have married friends who share a single email account, and other married friends who regularly use each other’s phones, log on each other’s facebooks if need be, and use each other’s accounts interchangeably with no problem. THAT is real trust. The arrangement that friend of yours had is not trust; it’s based on mistrust and fear and jealousy. That’s control, not sharing or trust. Yeesh. There’d be a huge difference if it had been, “fyi, my husband and I are getting a shared email account, here’s the new address.” But…deleting you from her facebook?? Forcing her friends to go through her husband when writing emails? Nuts. And depressing. That kind of micromanaging isn’t a sign of a more spiritual marriage; it has nothing to do with God and everything to do with the couple’s own jealousy and mistrust issues. Stuff like that is often an early sign of an abusive relationship. Isolating someone from their friends and controlling their contact with others is a way that abusers control the victim, keep them isolated, and prevent them from realizing anything is abnormal or reaching out to a support network for help.
Beyond all that, I can’t imagine giving up a private life when getting married. I don’t understand the share-y couples at all. I need my little corner where I have just MY stuff. So this case is particularly horrifying to my type of personality, which really values privacy.
“Sick” and “depressing” are excellent words for the entire affair.
And as for signs of an abusive relationship, I had not even thought of that, though you’re right. I of course have no evidence either way, but it certainly cannot be discounted as one of the reasons for such a drastic and sudden withdrawal from others in the name of “solid marriage” or being more pleasing to God.
And, I’m with you when it comes to the amount of sharing in a marriage. Much must be shared and explained in a strong union, but at the same time, there can be no strong union if each party does not remain a strong individual that is true to themselves. At least in my view of the matter. If I marry one day, (and I believe I probably will), I won’t be able to go whole hog on the shared Facebook/email deal. People deserve to talk to just me or just my wife, and not have to construct everything to consider how we both may interpret it. After all, once married, I am still a human being with my own needs for privacy and perspective. Nor could I deprive my wife of same.
Ty Unglebower 
That’s sick. There’s a difference between sharing in a marriage and control. I have married friends who share a single email account, and other married friends who regularly use each other’s phones, log on each other’s facebooks if need be, and use each other’s accounts interchangeably with no problem. THAT is real trust. The arrangement that friend of yours had is not trust; it’s based on mistrust and fear and jealousy. That’s control, not sharing or trust. Yeesh. There’d be a huge difference if it had been, “fyi, my husband and I are getting a shared email account, here’s the new address.” But…deleting you from her facebook?? Forcing her friends to go through her husband when writing emails? Nuts. And depressing. That kind of micromanaging isn’t a sign of a more spiritual marriage; it has nothing to do with God and everything to do with the couple’s own jealousy and mistrust issues. Stuff like that is often an early sign of an abusive relationship. Isolating someone from their friends and controlling their contact with others is a way that abusers control the victim, keep them isolated, and prevent them from realizing anything is abnormal or reaching out to a support network for help.
Beyond all that, I can’t imagine giving up a private life when getting married. I don’t understand the share-y couples at all. I need my little corner where I have just MY stuff. So this case is particularly horrifying to my type of personality, which really values privacy.
“Sick” and “depressing” are excellent words for the entire affair.
And as for signs of an abusive relationship, I had not even thought of that, though you’re right. I of course have no evidence either way, but it certainly cannot be discounted as one of the reasons for such a drastic and sudden withdrawal from others in the name of “solid marriage” or being more pleasing to God.
And, I’m with you when it comes to the amount of sharing in a marriage. Much must be shared and explained in a strong union, but at the same time, there can be no strong union if each party does not remain a strong individual that is true to themselves. At least in my view of the matter. If I marry one day, (and I believe I probably will), I won’t be able to go whole hog on the shared Facebook/email deal. People deserve to talk to just me or just my wife, and not have to construct everything to consider how we both may interpret it. After all, once married, I am still a human being with my own needs for privacy and perspective. Nor could I deprive my wife of same.