The Delusion of the Artist

tyunglebower ♦ October 23, 2024 ♦ Leave a comment

Anybody who writes anything beyond a private diary has some degree or arrogance, delusion, or both.

I include myself in this. I am somewhat deluded as a writer. I like to think more deluded than arrogant.

Don’t worry though, if you happen to be a writer. I don’t think these need be permanent, or even prominent traits. But think on this: the moment you hope somebody out there in the world wants to listen to things you made up and/or things you think, you are embracing at least some arrogance. The miniscule assumption that words you put together at home will be worthy of the attention of others in an attention-diminishing world. And I am not even referring to becoming rich and famous; anybody who has written knows that it’s sometimes a small miracle to even get a few friends to ready your stuff.

(My thanks once again to those few who read mine.)

I often come back to the proposition that if one knows there words and stories and ideas will never be considered by another person, they might as well save time and energy, and leave them all inside one’s mind.

The spiritual pilgrimage every writer, indeed every type of creative must take at some point, in order to find contentment, is the realization that it is the process of creating that is the focal point of a life of scope. Popular or not, the very fact you create something is a certain meditation against the very nihilism and fruitlessness that can creep into your mind when nobody does take an interest.

The universe has one more creation in it because of what you do. Even the enormity of everything we know is added to if you create. It’s external, even if not eternal.

You won’t feel this wisdom all the time. I don’t. In fact, only maybe a third of the time can I tell myself that the creative act itself is the balm on the cold dark wound of being alive in today’s world…and that while worldly success could provide much needed money as well as a gratifying sense of lightening the hearts and engaging the minds of readers, it cannot be depended on. There is too much luck involved for that.

I don’t always want to create. Neither do you, and it’s fine. We adopt nothing to our gain if we guilt ourselves for our failures to gain it.

And if a tiny bit of arrogance here and there gets that noble ball rolling enough to continue once the dust settles, so be it.