Inner Critic Blues
You know you struggle with an inner critic issue when you wonder if you SOLO table top RPG arcs are worthy of existing.
Yes, me. It has gotten better in the several years that I have been exploring the game in question, but it still lingers. An while I will sometimes anonymously post the resulting story arcs in a fleshed out narrative form on sites designed for that purpose, most will likely remain within my own journal for the game. (I mean, probably One never knows.)
The point being even once I complete a story arc in the game, and I have decided it is probably not going to be shared, I am prone to say, “well, you cheated a little bit when you interpreted that dice roll” or “if this happened on TV the fandom would sneer.”
The only legit self-response to this sort of attitude, (as well as the only legit response to any outside saying such things to you) is the following:
Who gives a shit?
Now it’s important to consider that the product in question may not in fact be as bad as said inner critic tries to convince you it is. That’s one reason they are called inner critics; they bitch at anything.
But for a moment let us suppose the inner critic of one of my game arcs, or one of your stories stumbles upon a mini-point?
The proper, professional response remains the same. Need a refresher? Here it is:
Who gives a shit?
Why should there be no shits given, even if there is a slight truth in what some of your own criticism present?
First, you are probably hearing them during a draft phase. All early drafts suck, that is just how it is. Anybody who claims otherwise is selling you a podcast or something.
Second, as I have talked about in previous posts, the process is the essence of value much of the time anyway. If I opted not to play my RPG (the only one I play, by the way) unless I could come up with an arc, characters, plot worthy of TV, I may never play. And playing beats not playing, creating beats not creating.
Even ChatGPT, which I generally eschew tends to agree with this. I once asked it on a lark about my worries over producing memorable, stunning narrative arcs during play that would impress more seasoned players. Even the unreliable, problematic goofy AI was programmed to respond to these worries with, in essence:
Who gives a shit?
When current AI is even more forgiving than you inner critic is, it’s time to reevaluate whether it has even the slightest value to your creative journey.
Look, it’s natural to have an inner critic. You are highly unlikely to silence it fully and forever. Just remember to prioritize it to a very (very) low level of importance, let it say what it says, and then keep going. Because you can always fix what ails your creation, or you can opt to enjoy just the process of making it.
Art lies in this reframing, as much as in anything else, as far as I have come to believe.
Ty Unglebower 