An Open Letter to a Lousy Teacher
For the purposes of this open letter, the subject will be referred to as Mrs. Corbin. -Ty
Dear Mrs. Corbin,
I had you for third grade. I didn’t enjoy much of your class, and looking back on it after all these years, I have to wonder if you enjoyed any of it. You certainly never acted like, 1) teaching children that age gave you any pleasure. 2) You had a grasp of how to do it in the first place.
Kids are impressionable. When you show disdain for them, they know it, even if they do not know know what the word “disdain” is. A third grader may not being able to vocalize the concept of respect just yet, but they know it when they see it, and when they do not see it. I didn’t see any respect from you. Not for me, or for any of my classmates.
It’s not respectful to laugh at third graders when they don’t know an answer or get something wrong. It’s not respectful to look at their classwork and shout, “What did you do?” loud enough for the entire class to hear. It’s not respectful to tell someone that age when they have done something wrong, “I don’t even want to see your eyeballs.” This last one you did to me, and it was hurtful. The smallest amount of solace comes from the fact that you treated most of us like that, and not just myself.
However, there is no solace in the fact that you asked multiple students to do the most vile thing I’ve ever been asked by a teacher. You’d sit in the front of the class, blow your damn nose, and ask us to throw it away for you. Do you know how demeaning, disgusting and abusive of authority that is? To have your students approach you from their desk, have you hand them your snot-soaked tissue, and instruct them to walk in front of everybody to the back of the class room to dispose of it for you? Especially when there was no option to even wash our hands afterward?
Among the many shitty things you did, that tissue business was, I can now say, the worst. It was the epitome of lazy, it was dismissive, humiliating, and obviously an ego-maniacal power trip on your part. What kind of old scumbag orders her students to do that? I’m pretty sure it was probably illegal to require us to do that, but of course, what recourse did we have? If anybody had said no, you’d have dressed them down in front of everyone, probably by mocking the way they spoke, as you did more than once to children.
Children being the operative word.
What was the matter, Corbin? Are you so weak willed and insecure that you had to stay all the way down at third grade where most kids don’t have the strength to object to your behavior? Is that what kept you from teaching any older kids?
Or was it the fact that you simply weren’t that smart? I think that’s part of it. This exhibited, among other things, by the fact that you started out giving us a homework assignment from the wrong grade on more than one occasion. The same exact wrong assignment; you had to admit your error more than once. If you didn’t even know what materials went with your class, you could at least make a note of it once you screwed up the first time.
Or the time we were writing stories in class, and I asked you how to spell, “Star-Spangled Banner.” You told me it was, “Stars Bangled Banner.” That’s the sort of phonetic mistake I might have expected from classmates, but from the teacher? Being who I was, I knew the name of our national anthem. I just didn’t know how it was spelled. Yet you knew better then me what it was, I suppose. How could someone end up being a teacher without knowing the proper name of her own nation’s anthem, after all?
Not that you lacked any awareness of the outside world. Like the time you started taking down all of the decorations and pictures in the classroom one morning in front of all of us, as opposed to before we got to school. “This is what the county government is doing to us,” you told us. “If you want your pictures back, tell your parents to talk to the county commissioners.” I don’t know what the issue was, and for all I know as an adult I may have been in agreement with the point you were allegedly making. But to make it in that fashion to children who obviously know no better? To use them as a living tool for your agenda? A staggering lack of professionalism. One of many of which you were guilty.
Certain people are dangerous enough to be forbidden to interact with children. I don’t think that is you. However, I do think that someone who treats them as you do in a position of authority ought to get another job. Someone who does the things you did has a personality totally unfit for teaching elementary school. I’ve been hurt worse by plenty of other people than I was by you, Mrs. Corbin, but the year I spent in your class was a wasted, unpleasant one.
That’s why I look back with a smile on the fact that my mother took me out of school two weeks early, to begin a vacation we had planned. She cleared it with all the necessary folks, and sent a note with me that final morning to give to you. It was the first you were hearing about it, and I now know my mother planned it that way. I still laugh when I think of your smug look changing in an instant to shock as you read the note.
“Today?” you yelled, responding to it being my final day in your class. Then something about you not knowing about it sooner, or something. I don’t much care. You’d been had and it was great. I only wish I had sung the Stars Bangled Banner on my way out that day.
I hear you’re retired now. Third graders are the better for it. The entire school system is better for it.
Blow your nose on that. And throw it away yourself, you sleaze.
–Ty Unglebower
This post is part of the Open Letter Continuum.
A Movie Recommendation for Writers
This isn’t a movie review, per se. I’m not going to get into the particular cinematic strengths and weaknesses of the piece in question. I will, however, strongly advise anyone that is serious about writing to check out Howl, starring James Franco.
The movie is several years old, so it’s probably old news to many of you. But I just last week got it on Netflix, not knowing what to expect. It was in several ways a pleasant surprise.
This non-conventional movie is broken up into several “timelines” for lack of a better term. Only one of these has any true linear plot to speak of. In one timelines, the then unknown Allen Ginsburg writes and performs his poem, “Howl” for the first time. In another timeline, Ginsburg is being interviewed, mostly about writing, by an unseen interviewer. In a third timeline, the obscenity trial for the poem in 1957.
There are also tiny flashback vignettes spread throughout.
Ostensibly, the Ginsburg poem is the centerpiece of the film, and indeed the entire poem is read throughout the film in pieces, interspersed with animated interpretations of the text. Yet what Howl is really about in the end, is writing itself as far as I am concerned. The interviews with Ginsburg (played by Franco) are made up of actual things Ginsburg said. His insights and exploration of what it truly means to be a writer are perhaps the best thing about the movie. Naturally one could simply read Ginsberg’s actual thoughts on these matters, but I have to give Franco credit for bringing life Ginsburg’s commentary in ways that reading and interview in a magazine would probably not accomplish.
The scenes from the obscenity trial are also based on the actual court transcripts, and hence provide an important commentary on the nature of both obscenity and art. How to define either one? Who has that right? Again, one could simply read the transcripts of the actual trial to see the points and counterpoints made in real life along this line, but I’m talking about a movie here. A movie that presents both sides of the trial with reverence while making clear where, (in my view) any writer or indeed any artist must fall on the issue.
I like the trial scenes for another reason; it gives one permission to not understand every aspect of the “Howl” poem, and therefore permission to not understand every aspects of every artwork or piece of literature. Too often we feel that if we don’t totally understand on first, second, or third reading the masterpieces of our time, or of previous times, we must be lacking. Or, the immature would argue, the masterpiece is worthless. Yet both Ginsburg’s commentary and the progression of the trial make room for the notion that we need not understand every word of a masterpiece in order to enjoy it, or in order for it to retain its masterpiece status.
I had read “Howl” before I saw this movie. I knew the basics of Allen Ginsburg’s position in the Beat movement and in American literature in a broad since before I saw this movie. But it wasn’t until I saw the Franco film that I began to take away from it all, (at least as packaged here), some of the universals that writers and artists should embrace. Universals such as embracing one’s art, being open and honest with one’s self and one’s muse, accepting one’s self for who one is in order to be better at writing, the importance of free speech in this land, and of refraining from judgement of creations we do not like or do not understand right off. Not that we must love or even respect everything that is produced, but rather that we not let our own personal preferences dictate what should and should not be art in most cases.
The acting, editing, cinematography and certainly the animation in this film are to be admired. I’ll let the movie reviews on the internet delve further into those aspects. For my part today, I simply repeat that all serious writers should take a look at this film. Even if you are not a writer and would like to understand some aspects of how many of us feel about the craft of writing, this film may be for you.
And if you have seen it, or do in the future, let me know here what you thought of it and it’s themes.
Nanowrimo 2014
It’s almost that time again. In little over a month, Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month) will be in full swing again. I will once again take part.
Sort of.
I decided last week I was going to be what they call a Nano rebel. I will not write a novel this November. Rather, I will attempt to write at least 50,000 words worth of short fiction during the time period.
This may or may not make me an official rebel, actually. The Nanowrimo website suggests that a collection of short stories with the same theme or characters or that are otherwise connected in some way does not necessarily fall outside the “normal” Nanowrimo experience. Unrelated short stories during the month would, however. At this point I don’t know if I am going to simply write as many words for random stories I have been thinking about, or if I will set aside a specific common theme for them, like I did with Thank You For Ten: Short Fiction About a Little Theater. So I don’t know if officially I will be considered a rebel this year or not. It doesn’t much matter, of course; the point is to write, and write I shall. I have some time to consider if I am going for theme or for variety.
Not having done Nanowrimo this way before, I don’t know what to expect exactly. My guess is that in some ways it will be easier, because I will have more complete arcs in shorter time. Yet I also considered it could be more difficult than a novel, because with a novel once can explore and elaborate and meander a bit. Shorter fiction does allow that as much, so it may be more difficult to “get on with it” as it were. I’ll find out in five weeks I suppose.
I’m far behind on my short story writing goals this year anyway, as I have mentioned several times here on the blog. This will at least get me somewhat closer to that goal, if nothing else.
So is anybody else doing Nanowrimo this year? Any fellow Rebels among my blog readership?
My Comments Featured on Writers Website
This may be a bit of a cheat in regards to a blog post, but since it happened today and I wanted to share it with my blog readers and others, I will point it out here.
Some of my comments about my Nanowrimo 2013 experience appeared on the Writer’s Digest website. A few months ago they solicited comments from those who had participated in Nanowrimo, pertaining to how the experience effected or helped them with their writing. I spoke of how last year it forced me into another genre, (mystery) as I attempted for the first time to complete an entire first draft during November, as opposed to only completing 50,000 words.
The fun thing about it is that i wasn’t aware my comments were on the site. I have a blog feed that I read through every day or two, and even then I don’t always read every entry from every blog that comes through. (Though I usually read the posts from the writing related magazines like this one.) When i saw the title of the post, I remembered submitting, but until that moment had forgotten all about it. Then I scrolled down and found my name.
So if you’re interested in how my Nanowrimo experience from last year influenced my writing, or you just want to see yours truly featured on a well traveled website, click on over and check it out. And let me know what you think down in the comments!
An Open Letter About Fake Letters
For the purposes of this open letter, the group of people I am addressing will be referred to as the Bygone Ladies…
Dear Bygone Ladies,
It was a silly, childish prank, and I apologize to all of you. True, it wasn’t destructive or threatening, but uncalled for nonetheless. You probably don’t remember me doing it, and if you do, you didn’t know it was a prank at the time. Hence this letter.
I was 14 years old and we all went to the same high school at the time. Basically I followed the rules and stayed out of trouble. Did what i was supposed to do. Tried to be nice to people, and show everyone respect until they gave me reason not to. But at the end of sophomore year, something in me got struck with the idea to write those letters to all of you.
Why you? A simple reason; you were all transferring to somewhere else, and that afforded me the opportunity.
I wrote “love” letters to each of you, confessing a so called attraction I had for you. Along with this a lament that now that you were leaving my school, I would never have the chance to get to know you better. “But since you’re going, I had to say it at least once.”
You were all perfectly fine looking young ladies, but I have to renounce the content of the letters now that I am an adult.
Did I want to prove I could have some kind of effect on someone at a time when I felt isolated and worthless? Was I attempting to be more like what I perceived a rebellious teenager “should” be by doing such things? Perhaps I thought by doing such a thing to a few people at once I would trick myself into feeling more…”romance-oriented”, as most of my peers were at the time. Could it all have been an attempt to be more “normal?”
Or maybe I was just being an ass and trying to cause a bit of chaos for no good damn reason, for one of the few times in my life. I guess I don’t know exactly what I was thinking.
Nor do I know what I would have done had one of you responded to my letters. You had the sense, (or possibly the revulsion?) to never do so, I suppose, so I never had to face that contingency. Maybe you even sense it was a prank all along. Yet if you had replied, I’d have probably come up with something had one of you written back. Come to think of it, I probably would have confessed the immature stunt right then, as I am doing now, had any or all of you replied to my stunt. I would have probably apologized as well.
Which is what I do now. I apologize. Again, I doubt it was the most mean-spirited experience any of you ever had. It was probably a momentary puzzlement on your part, long forgotten. I myself don’t lose any sleep over it, but I have a vivid memory of writing out the letters in my terrible handwriting, trying to think of what someone in love really would say and not being sure i got it right once I chose my words. I remember flipping through the class directory and writing your names and addresses on each envelope, stamping them all, walking to the post office and dropping them into the slot. I had half a dozen chances not to do it, but I did it anyway.
So here is one more letter from me to you, acknowledging the stupidity of one of my few irresponsible choices I made in those days. Hopefully I caused none of you much more than brief annoyance and/or confusion.
sincerely, Ty Unglebower
This post is part of the Open Letter Continuum.
Ty Unglebower 