(Don’t) Make Them Pay
When I was in the planning stages of starting my local Introverts Meetup, some suggested I require a nominal fee to attend the meetings. The argument was that nobody who signed up for the group would feel obligated to honor their “yes” RSVPs if they didn’t have a financial investment in the group.
When I do community theatre productions, a similar rationale is made, in reverse. There is often at least one or two people that figure they are volunteers, and that if they need to drop out of a rehearsal or two any given day when something better comes along, that’s their prerogative.
On the other side of the performance fence, there is often a reluctance to schedule free performances of certain plays. One the theatre side, the fear is that the audience won’t be motivated to keep quiet during the show and watch respectfully if they haven’t had to pay for the seat they’re taking up. Again, financial investment, so goes the logic, is a prerequisite if we are to have any expectation of courtesy. A fair number of people in a free audience may think the same thing…that if they didn’t pay for this show, they might as well treat it casually as a place to get out of the rain for a while.
These positions, to me, all represent essentially the same basic belief: that personal respect and responsibility can only be bought. That the one true motivation to do or be anything in society is to move money around. This is a sad, if not pathetic approach to take to all of our endeavors.
You may not like it, but that’s the way the world is. That old excuse for not putting an effort into anything at all is what some have told me about all of this. And while I certainly accept that there are some things about the world that cannot be changed, personal responsibility and respect are not among those things. Those things, which give us true value as individuals outside of our wallets, are in fact within the personal control of each and every one of us.
An honorable person does the right thing, even when it is not convenient. That is what makes them honorable. They choose to honor their commitments, their obligations, their agreements. They do so because they value their name. Those that behave in such ways only when there is a financial stake in the matter are unconcerned about the value of their name. And if they do not even value themselves enough to do what they say they are going to do, how much value can they really see in other people?
Now, I can’t control whether or not everybody else shows me respect and courtesy. I can, however, control my emotional investment in such people. I have the ability and the right to decide that if Jake Smith doesn’t honor commitments without financial benefit, I will not work with him anymore. He is not welcome to take part in my endeavors. And while that may in the short run drain my talent pool of the Jake Smiths, is that really a bad thing in the long run? If I behave in such a way as to insist I go into business or friendship only with honorable people, eventually honorable people will make up the majority of those with whom I associate.
Nobody can make you volunteer for anything. The moment they can force your hand it is obviously no longer volunteering. Volunteering is a choice, whether it’s at a soup kitchen, in an amateur theatre production, or to meet someone for brunch. Your name and reputation are based not upon what you are paid to do, but on what you choose to do. What does it say about you when you never choose to do what you agree to do? What does it say about me if I expect you to give me money of some kind before I allow you to associate with me and what I do?
Business is business, and there are contracts for that. People in business should not give away their products and services. Customers should not expect free stuff. But if the only contract you are willing to honor is the one signed in ink, which can lead you to the courthouse if you ignore it, I think it is best that I ignore you.
Financial investments are an aspect of life. They don’t define it. At least they shouldn’t. They certainly don’t for me. And if that’s the way the world is, it’s time each of us as people accept some personal responsibility, and insist on something better from one another.
What I Know About the Navy Yard Shooting
Sometimes you go numb, and sometimes you get pissed off. Maybe it’s because this Navy Yard shooting is so close to home for me, or maybe it was just time for me to be pissed, but pissed I am.
I don’t know anymore about what happened than anybody outside of authorities knows at this point. I know that it is yet another example of “good guys with guns” not being enough to prevent this from happening. I know victims families couldn’t care less about political squabbling over the issue. I know that the NRA will use this latest rash of murders to further their corporate agenda, and that as a society we will barely blink at the audacity of them doing so. I know that this society is sliding into some sort of undefined oblivion, the consequences of which are at best the slow decay of our collective humanity and at worse the first stage in our own extinction.
I know civilized societies experience tragedies, but I also know that civilized societies should not be experiencing them multiple times a year, such as this country has done recently. I know that while I may not have the answer to what to do about all of this, an answer from society as a whole is as urgent as it is elusive. Perhaps it is urgent because it is elusive.
I know a year from now somebody somewhere will lay a wreath near a plaque of some kind at the Navy Yard, and words and prayers will be spoken and broadcast. It will all pass into the lore and legends of the District of Columbia even as more tragedies, (many if not most involving shootings) will rise up into our collective, diminished attention span in a seemingly perpetual ebb and flow of broadcast mayhem de jour.
I also know there are still good people. Heroes. Kind, brave and generous people. I try to be one myself, (though I don’t know how successful I have been.) But despite my knowledge of such people being out there, I know that if something doesn’t change pretty fucking quick in this society, and people having lunch at a military installation, or seeing a movie in Colorado, or going to fucking elementary school continue to be vulnerable on a regular basis, the good, honest, brave, kind people are going to lose the battle. It’s only a matter of time, if the deepest aspects of the citizenry do not rouse themselves from the fat, ipad/smartphone/texting/short attention span complacency into which we are ever so gradually allowing ourselves to sink.
I know it.
Behold!
Behold!
Behold what, exactly? At the moment, my written thoughts on the word “behold”.
Not that my writings are so profound that they are something to truly “behold” in the strictest sense. But that is exactly my point. The vast majority of our lives fail to live up to the uses of the word “behold”.
It’s almost always followed by an exclamation point. It’s a command. You don’t merely suggest someone “behold” anything, and you certainly don’t ask them to.
I dare say it works, at least at first. If one walks into a room and says “looky here” some might look, but just as many are going to ignore you. Yet if someone exclaims “Behold!” don’t try to tell me you won’t look. You’d look. I’d look. Again, I’m guess 99% of humanity would look. It’s almost a reflex-as though our souls are pre-programmed to respond to that word.
It’s a virtual certainty that whatever follows a declaration of “Behold!” is going to disappoint. Yet we look up anyway, to find Aunt Edna has brought her “famous” bean-dip to the reunion again.
“Behold! I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.”
There you go. Regardless of your religious persuasions, you cannot deny that the image there is far more suited for “Behold!” than is bean dip. Or a new tie, or your mere arrival at the party.
I wonder if our lives are so uneventful and shallow that we hope to bring some aspect of divinity and awesomeness to our side by invoking “Behold!” for incidents that are clearly beneath it. Perhaps it’s an ironic commentary on just how unimportant we as a society have allowed our lives to become.
Or, do people who use it find their tie, their bean dip, their very presence, to be of such significance that they really do think we should “behold” what is in front of us? No doubt some people who use it are that sanctimonious.
There is of course a third option; maybe most people do not recognize the latent power of the word, and find it to be nothing but another verb. In which case I am the one making a big to-do about it.
Behold! The dramatic tendencies of a writer’s mind.
General Writing Update
I haven’t posted one of these in a while. So here is where my writing stands at the moment:
-I seem to have found a way to get Novel 2 back on some kind of track for the foreseeable future. For the last week or so I have spent time most days rewriting certain sections of what I have so far to fit with a leaner, and possibly more thematic structure for the book. As I have cut away a lot of the plot twists and red herrings and “whodunnit” aspects of the story, potential for greater exploration of my theme has emerged in various places in the narrative. Even once I correct for the new “timeline” if you will, about one half of the actual plot still remains to be written. But I’m confident now that with this course correction, I’ll be able to come up with something, and complete a far more solid first draft than that which I was originally writing.
-I continue to work on my companion piece for my first novel. (Flowers for Dionysus) It’s a series of ten short stories all of which take place in the same community theater as does the novel. I want there to be ten of them, and I am currently stuck on number five. I have ditched it several times and started over. I’m not sure what they problem has been, but in this most recent attempt I have tried something I have never done before; I have utilized second person.
For those unfamiliar with the term, second-person is a rarely used form wherein the reader is made to feel as though they themselves are doing the actions within the narrative. “You climb to the top of the stairs, all the while afraid of what you might find when you get there.” As you can probably tell, it’s not a POV that sustains itself very well over long fiction, but once in a while it works in shorter pieces. I think I can make it work for this story. Perhaps that is why I had such a block on it before; perhaps it is calling me to step outside of my normal way of writing and give this unusual point of view a try. The thing is, I believe it can work this way…but I don’t think I will be visited second-person very often again once this is finished.
I need to pick up the pace on those stories anyway. They tend to fall by the wayside, and I am not sure why.
-Quota. I told myself I would write ten short stories in 2013. When I finish the story I mention above, I will have achieved that. Hopefully I will exceed it somewhat as well. I know ten doesn’t sound like much to some of you, but I am usually working on something longer. Drafts of Flowers for Dionysus or lately, rebooting Novel 2. So unless I have something due up for my writer’s salon, I don’t always put the time into my short fiction that I probably should.
-On the subject of the writer’s salon…I have to decide if I want to submit my own stories to it anymore. I still intend to be in the salon, (especially since right now I moderate every other meeting.) Yet I’ve been thinking over the last few weeks that I may need to put a moratorium on submitting my own work for a while. Historically it has been helpful, but lately I have felt a bit of a disconnect between myself and my shorter fiction.
I can’t blame that on the salon per se, but the last few times I have submitted one of my stories, I’ve felt like the thoughts of mostly well-meaning people have created a bit of a wedge between me and the work. I’ve not been in a receptive mood in recently weeks as pertains to a group dynamic, and I think it may be time to keep my writing to myself for a while, and let it unfold in a way that speaks to me and only me, without outside advice. i think all writers in fact need time when they are alone with their work, and are more selective in who gets to read it. I may be entered such a season myself for now. I may have to stick to advising others for a while.
-I continue to polish a one-man show, based on some of Shakespeare’s speeches. Soon I will have to “perform” it for a camera or something to see how the sound flows, even if I have not memorized anything yet.
-Been giving some thoughts to Big Project 3. I call it that because I don’t know if it’s a novel, a play, or even a screenplay I want to work on after Novel 2 gains its legs. Flowers for Dionysus is, for all intents and purposes, on it’s final two revisions, and will probably be sent to an editor with the year. The second novel will then take writing time precedent, and I always want to have the next “big” project determined ahead of time.
Truth be told it should probably be a novel. I call myself a novelist and they say when you release one, you should have another one almost ready to go. Especially if you self-publish. But I don’t know which idea I am pursuing next, so I don’t know if said idea belongs in a novel or not. I have a notebook full of single sentence summaries or the broadest of concepts, and not all of them lend themselves right away to run media or the other. Then again, the idea for Big Project 3 might not even be one I have written down in my notebook yet. It may be something that strikes me between now and whenever. There is no way to know.
I know I’ve wanted to try my hand at a mystery novel at some point. But I also have a rough outline for a play that’s been sitting around a while too, and it might be time to take a break from novels after all. I can’t let myself stress over that decision this early, however. It isn’t quite time to make that decision. But I am scanning the horizon way off in the distance for what should be “next-next”.
-I submitted a short monologue to a friend of mine who is putting together a presentation of some kind at her school. She called for submission from everyone she knew. I don’t know if mine will be used or not, but I enjoyed writing it.
-I have had the basic premise for a series of short science-fiction stories for a while now. I should probably start thinking about laying out a tighter course for that. Maybe.
-I continue to work on poetry and post it over at www.tyunglebowerspoetry.blogspot.com.
That’s where I am with writing for now.
Too Fond of “It”?
“It is well that war is so terrible. Otherwise we would grow too fond of it.”
That quotation is attributed to Confederate General Robert E. Lee. He is said to have made the statement in response to his observation of the battle of Fredericksburg during the Civil War. (Brief history lesson; the Union got its ass handed to it at Fredericksburg.)
I assume what Lee meant was that it was, on some dark level, fun to dominate an opponent in that fashion. Or fun to watch it happen, despite its terrible nature.
In a way, I relate to the watching part. I’m talking about news coverage of big events. Yet not just any events. Events that are usually unpredictable on a moment to moment basis, with the potential for negative results. Unlike, say the Super Bowl, which, though covered and disseminated widely is, nonetheless an annual game-the location and date of which is well known to everyone. And even when your team loses, human life has no real potential to be affected by it. In short the Super Bowl isn’t “breaking news”, so to speak. Breaking news is often (though not always) troubling on some level.
Also, big as it may be, the Super Bowl is not covered wall to wall for days on every network. It is covered of course, and the sports networks will devote more time to it than anything else that week, but it doesn’t dominate the news landscape in the way breaking, potentially worrisome news does.
Nationally, these sort of wall-to-wall coverage events have recently included the Boston Marathon Bombing, Sandy Hook, the initial days of the various Arab Spring revolutions. More regionally you get wall-to-wall coverage of hurricanes that are headed for land nearby. “Snowmageddon” a few years ago had the local channels switching to wall-to-wall coverage of the snow. (Though I am not 100% sure why they did that.)
In all of the above cases, I watched at least a few hours of the coverage. Well beyond what was needed to gain a better understanding of the situation. Why did I do this? Why will I (and millions of others) probably do it during the next event/crisis that springs up? I think there are obvious reasons and not so obvious ones:
–I want to keep informed. I want to know right away if something changes in the situation. I want to know if any predictions I have made come true.
–Compare and contrast my views. I want to hear how close my opinion on the unfolding events is to those who are on television being paid to give their own opinions. (Sometimes it’s fairly close. Where is my check?) I also want to share things with people I know, to see what they are thinking.
–It breaks up the monotony of our day or of life. I suspect humans are often drawn on a subconscious level to anything that is outside of their routine. It’s a primordial longing for excitement, maybe.
–Threat assessment and response. I think humans also have a built in switch that gets thrown when it looks like somebody somewhere is battling something, or recently did so. Obviously the closer we are to the situation, the stronger that instinct is. But still even if the hurricane everyone has been watching down south for days has no mathematical chance of hitting Maryland, I feel a need to be tuned in to what people in general are going through, when it comes to something as swift and unpredictable as a hurricane. A small, tribal sense perhaps that I too need to pay attention and be ready.
–Sudden solidarity. On a visceral level you feel connected not just to those in trouble, but to those watching it. Though most people that exist may not be watching TV, nonetheless there are millions watching what you are watching. Seeing what you are seeing and thinking what you are thinking. Once more, that is true with the Super Bowl as well, but there is something more urgent, and perhaps at times more comforting when it is focused on the unexpected. For the Super Bowl, in the end, there are only two possible outcomes; the AFC team will win, or the NFC team will win. It all comes down to that. But if, say, New York has a total black out like it did a few years ago, the variables are endless. Why did it happen? How will people respond? How will they fix it? What’s this mean to the rest of the country?
I don’t think I’m alone in this…
None of it means I want people to die so there is something on television. I don’t sit around hoping for a level five hurricane to slam into a state or town. And there are some riveting news items that are in fact not especially bad. (The resignation of Pope Benedict earlier this year, and the conclave to choose his successor, for instance. ) It just means that when these things do happen, something seems to keep a lot of us watching. I am not a news junkie per se, in that I am not always watching the news. And even I get to the point with an unfolding story that has run out of folds for the day. I’m not “glued” to a TV often. Still, I have to go back to the Lee quotation when I think of some of the news events I have watched, and say to myself, “It is well that many breaking news events are so terrible, or else we would grow too fond of them.”
Ty Unglebower 