There ARE Small Parts. But Avoid Small Thinking.
If you ever check out my other blog, (and history suggests that you never do), you will know that I am currently in yet another play. This time, the play is Tom Stoppard’s, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. It is in a way Shakespeare’s Hamlet from a vastly different angle. In fact, it’s told from the perspective of the two title characters who, in Hamlet are in fact two minor characters. Only a step above the torch bearers, really. But in this play, they are the focus.
In an ironic absurdist way, that is. The play is not at all linear or plot driven, but rather an existential examination of the randomness of life, by way of linguistic gymnastics. However at various points throughout the action, these two gentleman find themselves in the midst of scenes from the actual Hamlet. Hamlet, Ophelia, Claudius, Gertrude, Polonious, The Player, all come in and out in what is essentially mere background for this story. And when they do appear those characters speak their actual Shakespearean lines. I myself play Hamlet.
I have always wanted to play Hamlet, though I admit, not in this particular capacity. While I do intend to play Hamlet in the actual Hamlet some day, this experience has been an interesting spring training for the character if you will. For you see, he is still Hamlet, with all of the depth, dimensions and complications associated with the character. And for my brief time on stage, I must play him as such. (And I am doing a fairly good job at that, if I may say so.)
If my infrequently seen Hamlet were to be phoned in or otherwise be terrible, people would know. Would it deep six the whole production? It would not have to, but a palpable sense of the play being off somehow would, I surmise, permeate the production. Hamlet, though a small role in the play itself, is not a small presence at all within his own head. As far as he is concerned, he is the Prince of Denmark, with all of the importance and burdens that come with that. For me to do little work because he is not seen much would be not only unfair to the rest of the play, but lazy. And it would miss the point.
I apply this approach to my acting whenever I play a smaller role, or need to perform a scene in the background. I work hard to be totally present in whatever part of the story I am telling. My commitment to good theatre necessitates this.
Yet I have tried to apply this notion to other aspects of my life as well. And it is not easy. But if I am lower on the totem pole for something, or if I am contributing only small bits and pieces to a conversation, or appear only on the outskirts of a project, I make every effort to remember that whatever I am doing deserves my full attention and effort at the time of my doing so. Perhaps it will not change my life, or improve my lot, but if I choose to do something, I do it right. Or opt not to do it in the first place.
Don’t shrink your universe. Despite what the success gurus say, you don’t have to always be out there leading some kind of Gen-Y, “go get ’em!” type of charge in order to be fully engaged in something. When you have a small job to do, it is still a job, and it is still yours. Everything behind what you do, and everything you bring to a table should be relevant. Not just for the sake of the job you are doing but for your own sake, so you don’t allow yourself to feel insignificant between the big moments.
For me it’s much more difficult to do this off stage than on stage. But I recognize the wisdom of it.
How do you feel when you are in the background, or the edges, as opposed to the forefront of something? Does your effort ever slack at those times?
Variations on the “Alpha Centauri Effect”
The “star” known most commonly as “Alpha Centauri” is the third brightest star in the night sky. Only it isn’t a star. It’s actually two stars in close proximity to one another. It is their distance from the earth, and their level of brightness that makes them appear to be one star when observed with the naked eye from this planet.
In more recent decades it was also revealed that a much smaller star, dubbed “Proxima Centauri” is also nearby. Proxima is not part of the unified illusion we see from earth, however. It is, in fact, rendered invisible to the naked eye because of its lower brightness and its vicinity to the far brighter Alpha Centauri stars. It is drowned out, so to speak.
Alpha Centauri is the closest star(s) to earth, except for the sun of course. The term “close” is relative in space, however, as the distance from here to there is about 4.7 light years. Meaning of course that it would take light itself, (which travels at 180,000 miles per second) 4.7 years to get there. Most of what lies between here and there is quite literally nothing at all, as we understand it. Cold, black, interstellar space, where even atoms themselves, the building blocks of matter, become more scarce.
Giving whole new life to the old cliché’ “so close, and yet, so far.”
Then there is the “Alpha Centauri Effect.” This is not the product of modern science, or anything famous. It has in fact been noticed and named by yours truly.
What is the Alpha Centauri Effect? Much like its name sake, it is actually not just one concept, but several concepts that are close enough in nature to fall under one term. Variations on it exist, which I will attempt to describe to you.
Variation One
Groups of people who choose to be together physically, (or sometimes just emotionally), have their own character. A specific blend of personalities, strengths and beauty. When individuals that are particularly beautiful to us in their own right are together, all the greater is the impression of the collective. Furthermore, while within the framework of that group, each individual is in some way enhanced. Their own personal contributions to the group are strengthened. Their personal beauty more apparent.
To a casual outside observer, the beauty of the whole group may be attributed to any one given member, or series of members. And while each person of course possesses their own unique luminescence, it is not the same, or as powerful, as that of the entire group. It is only once outsiders get close enough that they realize the beauty they were assigning to one individual is in fact that of the collective.
Variation Two
Again, when we first meet someone we like, we tend to see the fairest, brightest qualities within them, when most of what surrounds them is less appealing. (Light and dark.) We overlook the fact that most people are at best a duality of some sort, and are probably multi-faceted, with some facets good, many facets bad. But so shines the brightness of that quality which endears us to them, we see that facet, that presentation, that persona, as the entire picture. We think that what we see is one, complete, convenient package of a “star”, when in fact any given person is many different concepts in very close proximity to each other. Only when we are allowed to get closer do we realize this. If it is not too late, and we do not crash and burn right into the star(s) in question.
Variation Three
This is when people who posses their own brightness, personal beauty, and individual contributions are unnoticed from a distance by others, because of their proximity to other, bigger and brighter stars. In other words, perfectly valid people who find themselves filling the role of the Proxima Centauri, that get lost in the hype, charisma, and popularity of those that others find more “interesting”. They cannot seem to break away from the other group, for various reasons, and form their own system. If they did, they too would be seen and admired for what they were, all by themselves. But as it stands, they remain enslaved by the personal gravity of others, either by association, or by similarity of mission or occupation or environment. A pull from which they cannot escape. An escape they cannot even ask for help in obtaining, because as mentioned, most people do not know they are there, unless closer examination is taken of the situation.
Variation Four
Wherein we perceive that which is bright and beautiful to be closer than it really is. We see people shine somehow, and we think we start to know someone, but we do not. We become convinced that we are loved, but, in fact, we are not. So deep seated is our fear to admit that really most of anything between us and another person is nothing but cold dark empty space, that we use terms like “close”, “bright”, “beautiful” or even “love”. But like Alpha Centauri, close is a relative term, and in fact means that we are not that close to them as a person, (or a group of people) at all.
***
These are the four known Variations on the Alpha Centauri Effect. You may have noticed that a few things pull all of the variations together.
One of the common threads between all four variations is the distance. The “illusions” we see, about people or about stars, are due in large part to the distance we stand from them. From a safe distance things are easier. They require less energy to take in. We don’t get close enough to see the individual, or the facets of an individual because that is work. We enjoy the brightness they give off to us, and absorb whatever energy they may be giving off, until such time as we move on from them, out of boredom, laziness or fear.
Yet another more positive common thread may be present amongst the Four Variations. The idea that we all look to the night sky, with naked eyes, to see what is there. To capture beauty “naturally”. The things telescopes and satellites can show us are amazing to the intellect, but lack the poignant beauty of looking straight up into a starry night, unencumbered by technology.
Floating around in our blackness, we long for beauty, and brightness. And the same is true with people. We want to be around that which is beautiful among people. We are so starved for it that we will eventually accept what our eyes see amongst the night time of our lives, even once our mind knows otherwise. We look to the sky, and accept that two stars are in fact one big star, the third brightest in the sky. We do so because a single bright star is a thing of beauty to us, even though our mind remembers it is really two stars. Our eyes and our heart see but one thing…Alpha Centauri…and that is the truth we accept.
Is doing so a folly? In human affairs does a desire to love and be enraptured by the beauty we perceive trump the knowledge that says it is more than we see? Are we wrong to seek the beauty of the stars or of people? Are people wrong to not look closer at what a star really is? Is it a sin to want to lie to ourselves sometimes, if only to escape the fact that 4.7 light years of nothing lies between us and the next closest being?
And is what we see really an illusion, just because it is not scientifically true??
I don’t know. Do you?
“Because It’s There!” Not for Introverts.
Contrary to popular belief, most introverts can in fact do things like engage in small talk, introduce themselves to a stranger, or meander about within a crowd. (Though we do prefer when it is a controlled, purposeful crowd as opposed to a mob, that is certain.) We are just not as comfortable or in the very least, not as inclined to do such things. They are outside of our status quo. Yet if we find that by doing so a greater good is achieved, we will undertake such actions. But the stakes have to be much higher for an introvert than they have to be for an extrovert.
For example one would hope that even the most reclusive introvert would save a stranger from drowning if they came across such a scene and could help. Yes they have to touch and communicate with someone they don’t know, and in normal circumstances they are not thrilled about that. But saving a life makes it the highest of stakes. This is of course an extreme example, but the point is that an introvert is far less likely than an extrovert to take an action or to make a comment simply because they can. It’s rare that I quote Star Trek movies, but in this case think of Mr. Spock after saving Kirk who has just fallen off a mountain:
“Perhaps ‘because it is there’ is not sufficient reason for climbing a mountain.”
The “sufficient reason” will of course vary from introvert to introvert, but you can bet in 90% of cases there is one. That is why we don’t speak much at meetings; we are weighing if there is sufficient reason to bring up the point we are formulating. That is why we don’t usually seek to be the center of attention; we have determined there is not sufficient reason to halt to proceedings in order to be observed. Introverts need a sufficient reason before they go out on the town or attend a party with mostly strangers.
And yes sufficient reasons for all of these things can be found for the introvert. We may attend a party for the sake of one person we care about. Perhaps we have determined we need a break from our own thoughts, and go out on the town. We may even attend a networking event, if the event is designed specifically with writers or other creatives in mind. So long as the stakes weigh more than the uncomfortable action, introverts will do it in most cases. But you can bet a week’s pay that they have made that determination before they have taken the action.
And the stakes must be higher than “getting out there”. Often, even appealing to an introvert’s self interest is not raising the stakes high enough, because an introvert tends to be more motivated by ideas and creativity, and less by personal gain.
Extroverts on the other hand tend to drive meetings, offer all their half-formed ideas, enjoy having everyone look at them and listen to them, and can’t wait to get away from themselves and get out on the town, or to the next party. At which they will thrive on talking to strangers. And even if they don’t make a single friend or establish one single toe-hold somewhere, (though they usually do), the extrovert is ready to go out the very next day and do it all again, because the stakes of not doing so are too high for them.
So if you want to motivate an introvert to say something or to do something, don’t just encourage them to “come out of their shell” or to “join the party”. That doesn’t tend to move us. But if you can take a few extra moments to determine what the stakes are, and have the patience and willingness to present them to an introvert in a respectful way, you may find them more willing to partake. Especially if you present to them a problem that you feel can be solved with their participation.
If you are an introvert, how high do the stakes have to be for you to do the “extroverted” stuff? Can they ever be high enough?
From a Distance
I am sitting alone in my younger sisters house. Well, not alone. Her two cats and dog are with me somewhere. I am allergic too all three, so let’s go Claritin.
She is off having her first born about 15 minutes from here. I got a call at about 8 this morning from mom saying that she wanted me to accompany her to the hospital, 90 minutes from where I live. She just liked having that extra support. I agreed. But I wasn’t at the hosptial long before I felt uneasy.
I am not fan of those places. Even the maternity wing. Snooty nurses who tell me I am not allowed to sit here. (It was a couch in a hallway…) Badges. Waiting rooms. My sister laying in a hospital bed, and me knowing there were dozens of women within yards from me in various stages of childbirth. Not a process, location, or situation I was enjoying in any way.
The decision was made to send me here, instead. I could have warmed to the Anne Arundel Medical Center eventually, but being here is probably for the best. Histamines notwithstanding.
Because that whole “miracle of life” thing? It wasn’t doing anything for me while I was there. More open minded people could walk down the hallways and know that in each room the process of bringing forth an new human being was taking place. That knowledge would be mystical to many people in my position. I on the other hand was just hoping I wouldn’t hear anybody scream.
Life is a miracle in many ways. I believe that. However today has made me consider the fact that just because something is a miracle, that doesn’t mean you don’t require some distance from it in order for your mind and heart to process it.
I think it is true in other aspects of life as well. Like child birth there is the joyous and miraculous, and then there is the “eww.” And that’s okay. Sometimes we are too close to something to see all of its positive characteristics. Sometimes even something amazing can turn us off if we become too immersed in its every minute detail. Your favorite song will shatter your eardrum if played too loudly in your ears.
We won’t always have a choice in the matter. I will have to be much closer to the action when my own first born comes into the world, I am sure. But some people are made to enjoy every inner detail of what is great, (how to make the sausage) and other people would rather not know, and just prefer to have breakfast. For me, for now, I am in the latter camp when it comes to childbirth. But then again the context of my own kid being born may make the entire thing more “miracle” and less “eewww” once I get there.
Either way, remember both the distance and context of wonderful things. View them in any way that you can to make them more wondrous. Which now that I am 15 minutes away and free to surf the net, watch television and eat something without being yelled at, I can do in regards to my kid sister’s firsth child birth.
Earth Angel Moments
Remember that part in Back to the Future when that goofy looking bastard with the huge mouth cuts in on George and Lorraine at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance? George begins to walk off, dejected, and Marty begins to fade from existence because this would seem to indicate that his parents will never get together and conceive him. Yet at the last minute George returns, shoves big-mouth to the floor, and kisses Lorraine like the stud he has become. The two fall in love and Marty, along with his future, exist again. Yay!
I call that the “Earth Angel” moment, because if you will recall, that is the song the band was singing at the time, and they hit on the chorus just as Marty leaps totally back into the space-time continuum. A moment where the one very important first domino is knocked over, thus causing the proper chain reaction that leads to the rest of everything.
We all have them, and I often wonder about my own Earth Angel Moments.
What makes such a moment? First and foremost, it is in fact a moment. For example, you cannot say, getting a PhD was an Earth Angel Moment because it wasn’t a moment. It was a long, drawn out process. It may have begun with a moment, but the actual attainment is not a moment. Unless something very significant happened at the actual physical moment the degree was placed in your hand.
It also has to be the seed of something good. True, something that starts out good can either turn bad, or have bad branch off consequences. And we can learn and be shaped by pain, I realize that. Yet to qualify in my mind as an Earth Angel Moment, that which radiates from the moment must be, when taken as a whole, an important, positive quantity. (In Marty’s case, his existence.) A moment that if it did not happen, you wouldn’t be as well off as you are now in some way.
So, what sort of moment in your life, if it were a movie, would cue the band to play the swelling part of the score as it happened on screen?
Of course the very nature of the Earth Angel Moment is one that usually precludes you from being aware of it as it happens. Without the benefit of a time traveling DeLorean I cannot be certain at the time when I am experiencing something that will change everything eventually. So I rely on retrospect.
Some I can be certain of. The moment I opted to take Acting 101 in college instead of Pottery 101. Going to my first party in college. (It didn’t even require puking or anything!) Making a phone call to a specific director of a community show whom i had been referred to some years after college. No doubt things would have been drastically different if any of those things had not occurred.
Then there are those moments that feel as though they are the start of something important, but only time can tell. Starting this blog. Finding a homemade floral headband in a park two summers ago. Deciding to try freelancing. And so on. They have the potential to be Earth Angel Moments when I look back on them later.
In either case I find thinking about Earth Angel Moments to be a healthy and fun exercise. Not only does it remind me of how things sometimes go right even for me, it also reminds me that any given moment could unlock a sequence of events that leads to something major. A career. A spouse. Or something I can’t even think of yet.
What were some of your Earth Angel Moments?
Ty Unglebower 