Reverb13 Day 8: What Went Right.
What went right in 2013?
I’m sort of a pessimist at times, I maintain with reason. But this year I can’t deny that a lot of my writing went right. (Not really liking the homonyms in one sentence, but there is no other way to put it.)
I say this about my writing even though I didn’t achieve one specific goal I set for myself at the start of the year. But first, let’s talk about what I did achieve.
In January, I wrote the following list of writing goals:
–Write the fifth and sixth draft of my novel, Flowers for Dionysus
I’ve talked about my novel many times here on the blog. I’ll be revising it again come New Year, but I achieved both of these drafts within the span of 2013. Plus, one of them was reviewed by a small group of writers. I didn’t like everything they said, and will be ignoring some of it, but they did provide me with some useful information for the future revisions. (Which I hope to be done with next year.)
–Write ten short stories.
I actually exceeded this by a few. Mostly as part of a collection of ten short stories about a theatre which will be a sort of companion piece to my novel. But also one or two single-shot stories. I know that a dozen or so doesn’t sound like much, but for me, a more methodical and at times plodding sort of writer, it was a fair goal. Looking back, I probably could have written more than a dozen. But there is always next year.
Each of those stories has also been through a revision or two this year. That wasn’t technically on the goal list, but it’s satisfying to have gotten that far with most of them.
–Draft a one-man stage show.
Did it. My one man Shakespeare-based show will still require some work, but I did get the research and the first few drafts of it done this year. In theory it should be ready for me to perform sometime next year.
Now to what I did not get done:
–Finish the first and second drafts of Novel 2.
As many of you who follow this blog on a regular basis already know, the status of so called Novel 2 has been unstable to say the least. I won’t explain all of it again here, as I have done that about a thousand times. Just do a search for “Novel 2” on this blog, and you’ll be caught up on that saga. Suffice to say I have had to seriously rework and reconsider that project. I have not abandoned it. But I have taken an extended leave from it due to some of the difficulties. So I did not accomplish a first or second draft. But I hope to next year.
Then there are the things I accomplished with my fiction writing this year that were not specific goals, but in a sense make up for the one I missed:
-I wrote two other novels this year that I didn’t expect to write. One was a ghost writing job for which I got paid. (Eventually.) The base material was atrocious and the man that hired me was about as unprofessional and inconsiderate as they come. (No wonder his screenplays have not been turned into film; they are trash.) But I did the best I could with what I had, and frankly my story is better than his could ever hope to be with the same material, even though he didn’t think so.
This novel was on the short end, because again the source material was pure drivel. But I did write a novel, nobody can deny me that.
Then there was last month’s Nanowrimo, which I have also talked about several times. For the first time ever I completed the entire novel in November, with almost no planning ahead of time at all. That went better than I thought it would. So much so, I am considering revising it once or twice, and publishing it myself, depending on how solid I think the first draft is. (I will read it in January.)
But whether I go forward with that novel or not, I finished it. Which means I wrote two novels this year. Not two of the longest novels out there, and nothing compared to some prolific writers, but for me, having written two novels within the course of a year is quite the accomplishment.
Actually, having written two novels, edited a third, written a dozen short stories and a stage show is quite the accomplishment, if I may say so myself. It wasn’t always pretty, and I don’t know what the future holds for any of the writing. But I can say that my fiction production for the year is something that went right, for certain.
Reverb13 Day Seven: Picture This
Please post your favorite picture of yourself from 2013, self-portrait or otherwise!
About 90% of pictures of me are taken by me. That’s not an ego situation, either. Truth be told, I am neither that great nor that fond of doing it. But I am usually the photographer when my family gets together, and no matter how much pleading and encouraging I do, the others rarely take any pictures.
And as for friends? I am not often invited to social events where pictures are being taken, and when they are, few people ever decide to take a picture of me. Who knows why, but it probably has a lot to do with whatever reasons people don’t engage me in other ways as well. I only know that on Facebook, I am tagged in fewer photos on other people’s pages that most of my friends.
That leaves the selfie, or else I might not ever be documented in pictures!
And this year I have not taken many of them. Not many that have any value, anyway. But this one that I’ve chosen for this post works on a few levels. It’s not a great picture, and my hair is messed up. But it does show me as happy. It’s by and large a warm picture of me, and for lack of a better choice, that’s why it was selected. Happy, warm, natural Ty. (As much as possible when one takes a selfie.)
Almost natural. At least not gloomy.
Reverb Day 6: Memories and Precious Things
What precious things have you gathered in 2013? Which memories from this year do you wish to keep with you always?
I’ve come to believe in recent years that we don’t often know that something may be a precious thing, or a memory we wish to hold on to forever while we are still in the midst of it happening. Sometimes we may not even know for quite a while after the fact that something qualifies as such.
Some things do obviously fall into this category. Any time I spend with my youngest niece, naturally. She is two and a half years old, and comes with all of the craziness of that age. Not at all difficult to consider things such as that as “precious”. In fact, time with family in general is probably a fair entry into that collection of memories one wishes to keep with one always. Fair enough.
But what of other things? The things around which one’s entire life does not revolve, but nonetheless become woven into each person’s spiritual tapestry? It is these things that don’t always announce themselves as precious memories.
For example, I have met several new people this year. Could one or more of them end up being significant in my life for any number of reasons? Certainly. And if they do, the moment I met them would become retroactively precious, in a sense. Or the feelings I have had upon completing any given one of my writing projects. Will those projects be the means by which I touch lives? If so, I should imagine I’d want to hold on to the memory of conceiving and completing such works.
Or, none of those things could end up significant, and will present nothing precious to me, no matter how long after the fact I consider them.
That being said, I do not recall any things that happened in 2013 that I would at this moment consider precious on this level. Though the future may reveal them as such.
In the end, I suppose there is a lesson even in my ambiguous relationship with my moments of 2013; one must, (or at least I must) make room in my heart for any event, any moment, any person, any experience to be precious, and worthy of my recollection forever. Or I must be willing, like a miner, to dig through the mountains of dirt that make up the tedium of daily life so as to seek out the sparkling precious gems or the memorable and significant moments. For though the precious in life will for some people at some times present itself, for the rest of us we probably have to be astute observers for most of our days to detect same.
Reverb13 Day Five: Risk
What was the greatest risk you took in 2013? What was the outcome?
Even as an introvert I need and want friends and a certain level of social contact. I’ve felt for a while it was time to inject new personalities into my life. But the general ways of doing so were not applicable to me. I don’t do bars, clubs, “night life” groups, or other such things. Any social connections I’ve made in the past have generally been made in settings and during activities where I felt most comfortable, and I needed to find something like that.
It came as no surprise that there were no groups online that were both local and catered to people who, like myself, prefer casual, quiet, conversational social activities. Things that don’t require yelling or stepping outside of one’s comfort zone just to meet people. (I believe stepping outside of one’s comfort zone is, in most daily activities, overrated anyway.) It’s an extroverted world, and MeetUp.com and other such places reflect that.
So, I took what I consider to be my biggest risk of 2013; I started an introverts social group. I have talked about it many times here on the blog. It was and is a risk because as I have also mentioned several times before, my endeavors do not have a great track record.
Projects, groups, activities, events that I spearhead almost never succeed. Like I said in yesterday’s post, I have pretty close to no social support for what I try to do in my own home area. Each time I begin something with excitement, and go through the steps of talking it up, sharing about it, spreading the word about it, and showing how committed I am, it goes nowhere, due to very few people showing any interest in me or my project. Each time this happens, the anger, pain, and humiliation of yet something else not catching fire makes it even less likely that I will attempt something else. If I do, it will be at longer and longer intervals.
I suppose this summer the circle came around again, and I decided to launch my own group. The need for appropriate local social connection for people like me outweighed the history of failure to launch projects, and I went for it. (Though not without some apprehension.)
The outcome? In truth, it is probably still too early to assess. I admit that I am frustrated that the membership keeps climbing, while engagement does not. But in the broad picture, I don’t think enough time has gone by to declare an outcome. Maybe in a few months I can truly determine the success of the endeavor.
But whatever the ultimate outcome, I’ve met a few interesting people through what is probably the biggest risk I took in 2013.
Reverb13 Day Four: What Is Lost
What have you lost, what are you grieving?
It’s not as devastating as some losses are. Nor is it confined to 2013. In fact, much of it has happened consistently over the course of several years, though there was an episode or two of it this year as well. I don’t know that I would go so far as to say I am grieving, but I may have been doing so back when such things began happening, I’m not sure. By now, though I am still effected negatively by it, I am also, sadly, getting somewhat used to it.
I have lost my standing in what little community I have had over the last few years. Friends have stopped talking to me, support for projects has been withdrawn or denied outright, interest in endeavors has decreased. All this, despite my best attempts to be engaged in what others are doing and trying to accomplish.
It is of course possible that my standing with certain “friends” or within certain communities was simply never as strong as I thought it was years ago. I’ve considered that possibility many times. But whether by perception or in actual fact, I have lost something from certain elements of people around me that I at one point felt secure in.
Certain things are underway that may, if not rebuild what I have lost, at least help me to build something new. Possibly. On a lesser scale than that which I have lost over the years, but hopefully a more solid foundation then that previous status. (Or perceived status.) But it has taken quite a bit of wailing and gnashing of teeth at first, and introspection and analysis later on to fully deal with this disconnection. (Or in some cases, total abandonment.)
Several people I know like to mention that people come in and out of our lives all of the time, and that when they serve their purpose, they leave. (Not through death, in this case.) Nobody will remain close to us, ergo we should never be surprised when people turns their backs and walk away.
As well meaning as such adherents to that philosophy may be, I kind of call bullshit, if for no other reason that they themselves have an obvious cadre of folks that remain in their lives regardless. It is sometimes, I think, easier to admonish someone for being upset about something which one has not fully experienced oneself.
Besides, I like to think I have at least a handful of people who are always or shall always be there for me. But, I confess, I’ve thought that about most of the people that I have since “lost” for reasons I do not understand.
I guess I’m getting better at accepting it though. Problem is, is it because I am becoming a deeper person, or a person more numb to pain of having almost nobody?
Time will tell. I assume.
Ty Unglebower 