An Open Letter to an Audience Member
For the purposes of this letter, I’ll refer to the addressee as Mr. Barnes.
Dear Mr. Barnes,
Since yesterday was the 450th birthday of William Shakespeare, I thought it appropriate that I write to you today. But as the man himself said, “brevity is the sole of wit.” I’m sure you can appreciate that, and I’ll not test that sentiment. I shall with this letter, be brief, as was our only encounter in life.
It was after a performance of a play I was in. You were in the modest audience for the first full-length production I’d ever been in. (I’d only been in one acts before that.) More importantly, if was my first ever Shakespeare performance.
Well, it was a quasi-Shakespeare performance. It was the parody, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, Abridged. But there were enough legitimate passages of Shakespeare in our rewritten version of the script that I still consider it my first experience with performing the Bard’s work.
That was an exhausting, frustrating yet ultimately rewarding and exhilarating experience for me. But as you were in one of the earlier audiences there at my college, things hadn’t totally warmed up with the show yet.
Plus, I was often at odds with my cast mates, or in the very least my director, about how to interpret any given passage of Shakespeare. Convinced that I was just as right as some the others, I nonetheless at times allowed my confidence in the Shakespeare parts of my performance to wane. The goofy comedy and parody parts I was all over, but the real passages? I felt hit and miss.
That is until I met you after the show.
Still in costume, as per the custom of that theater at that time, the cast stood in the lobby waiting to greet audience members as they exited. Invariably certain members of the cast were approached right off. Not being the flashiest, most handsome or goofiest member of the cast I tended not to get specific attention from audience members after the show most nights. But when you came to me and shook my hand telling me, “You were a good Puck,” I felt redeemed. (I closed out the production each night by reciting Puck’s famous “If we shadows” speech straight, with no jokes involved.) It was quite a salve to some of the sore spots within me that still remained from a trying writing/rehearsal process that had been months long. By then I had befriended and appreciated my cast mates and enjoyed every minute of being in the show, but some bruises remained from the days when my “legitimate” Shakespeare prowess was left in doubt. You helped removed those doubts.
You did so not simply because you enjoyed my Shakespeare passages, (thought that helped), but by telling me that when you were my age, (I guessed you to be around 70 or so), you read a Shakespeare play every week. That did and still does impress me, as I don’t think I could get through even the plays I have read a dozen times in a single week. But more significant to me than your speed was your layman’s experience with Shakespeare. As far as I was (and am) concerned, having read that much Shakespeare out of pure love for that long a time, you were just as entitled to judge my performance as anyone. And you’d told me I had done well with it. If someone like you thought well enough of my Shakespeare to go out of your way after the show to say that to me, I must have been doing something right. Always able to improve, I nonetheless realized during those brief moments chatting with you that I had within me what was needed to present Shakespeare to an audience in a memorable way. The rest of the performances went all the better for me after that.
From thent on, Mr. Barnes, despite some disagreements with others over interpretation or delivery of any given Shakespeare line, I knew that in the long run I was capable of it. I’ve grown in confidence with my Shakespeare since then, having appeared in three pure Shakespeare plays between then and now. I’m even writing my own one-man show based on some of his speeches. I still have much I can learn, but I know I am a legitimate Shakespearian these days. It just takes enough rehearsal time.
Would I have come to recognize my own talent in performing Shakespeare eventually, even without meeting you? Perhaps. Probably. Yet who can say? And why should I try to determine that? The fact remains I did meet you, you did say what you said about my Shakespeare abilities, and at the start of each Shakespeare project I undertake, I think of you and what you said to me that day in the lobby. Most of the friendships from that play have vanished over the years. But your praise has remained a beacon within my memory, drawing me back to the realization that even from the beginning, I had it in me to, “do Shakespeare”.
I’m sure it’s not the most important contribution you ever made to the world, sir. But to an actor and writer such as myself, confirming Shakespeare talent is high praise indeed. And so, Mr Barnes, “I can no other answer make but thanks, and thanks.“
I’d cite that, but being a man of Shakespeare such as yourself, you already know where it’s from.
sincerely, Ty Unglebower
*
This post is part of the Open Letter Continuum.
“Thank You For Ten” Covers and Proofreading
As I mentioned last week, I was down to three possible covers for Thank You For Ten: Short Fiction About a Little Theater. I have made that decision, and while I won’t give a great deal of detail about it here, (I want there to be some surprise for you when the book is available!), I’ll say that I went with a cover containing an image as opposed to just designs. I think any of the finalists as well as some others would have worked well, but after talking it over with some people, I decided that an image would stand out more for people searching. Plus this image is somewhat representational of the content of the book. How so? You’ll find out when I launch.
So that is almost that in regards to covers. The next step will be to enter the title and my name and such onto said cover in a way that looks nice. That won’t be a quick punch-out job either, as the text is obviously important. It won’t however, take more than one sessions of playing around with things. That may come today. I feel confident in doing at least that much myself.
I also mentioned a week ago that I was making the final proofread pass for all ten stories. As of Saturday that task is complete. I realize that we all have a tendency to miss things here and there in our own work, and I may have. But if I did, it’s minor, and no more than what you’ll find in a traditionally published book these days, I dare say. Everything remained mostly as it had been, though with two of the stories I did rework a whole paragraph or two. The stories were better afterward, which of course is the point. But most of the stories were already by last week at their optimal state after previous editing passes. Why weren’t the few paragraphs I just mentioned? I have no idea. Sometimes something just strikes an author as improvable one day that did not previously. This is why one has to decide to be done editing, and not edit until things are settled. They are never fully settled. But I have decided; this collection’s editing has concluded.
Time to begin the serious work on other aspects of this adventure. Namely, to pick a launch date, a price, and to market in whatever capacity I have. I’ll admit that after the major flop of my blog post on Thursday, hearing from only one person, I’m very disappointed in and worried about my reach. But hopefully a lack of comments does not indicate a lack of interest in this collection, and so I invite all of you who read the blog but didn’t answer my call on Thursday to stay tuned and follow me through to the end of this process, and pick up a copy of Thank You For Ten:Short Fiction About a Little Theater when the time comes.
But first, more decisions. And as I have been commandeering most Mondays here on the blog to updates about all of this and I enjoy the semi-accountability that brings, let’s say I will have a decision about launch date and price for you a week from now. You won’t want to miss that I’m sure, so make sure you come on back a week from today to find out more.
Ty’s Virtual Meet and Greet
Truth be told I know there are some folks out there. This blog has about 100 followers via WordPress, and a certain group of them tend to mention when they “like” one of my posts. And of course I have one or two regular commenters that post thoughtful responses on a regular basis. For that I’m quite grateful. But I’d like to know who else is out there reading my words. I’d like to know what you are thinking, or hear any questions you may have about what I’ve written.
Recently I’ve even remodeled the blog a bit, (notice the new picture of me), and I’ve updates some of the info tabs about myself and my work. Much of it in preperation for this post. Sort of like picking things up for an open house. I want to hear from you.
I realize that it can sometimes be difficult to make a general random comment on a blog. I also realize that not everyone has a question, per se. If What I’ve written is clear, and you agree with it, there may seem like little that needs to be said. I can understand that. I have been in the same position before myself. But I’m trying to get better at that by leaving at least a brief thought of agreement or disagreement on the blogs I visit on a regular basis. I’m hoping some of you will choose to do so here at TyUnglebower.com
You’ll find I ask questions at the end of some of my posts, seeking advice or opinions. That’s where all of you come in! At least that is where I’d humbly ask more of you to come in.
Not everything I write on this blog invites itself to a specific response. I realize that. But I do my best to post at least several conversation possibilities a month. I’d like those that either follow this blog literally via WordPress, as well as those who have found it by other means to take the chance to introduce themselves, and let me know why you like coming to this blog. I’m never going to be a Seth Godin, (not sure I’d want to be) but I’d like to establish some community connection here at my site beyond the one or two that leave frequent comments.
So if you’ve been looking for an opening to do that but can’t seem to find the right time or post to do it from, here is your chance. I want this post to be a sort of meet and greet. For those who are looking for a place to comment or introduce themselves, or just to say hi, but haven’t felt confident yet in doing so, let’s get the all rolling here on this post.
They say you need to ask people for support if you want to get it. While I would continue this blog regardless, because I need some outlet for my thoughts and perceptions, I am asking you now to please engage me here today, and I will continue my efforts to engage others as well.
I usually follow any blog that follows this one, unless I see right off that it’s clearly just a storefront blog, or one that hasn’t been updated in over a year. I’m not for everyone, but if you’ve followed me, there’s probably aspect of my writing, my presence or my personality that appeals to you. Perhaps I can reciprocate. But I need to hear from you.
So, no more need to feel awkward, or to wonder when a good time to say something may be. Jump in right now in the comments section, for hopefully the first of many times in the future! I look forward to hearing from you.
Thank You For Ten Update, Again
Here’s what’s going on lately with Thank You For Ten: Short Fiction About a Little Theater.
To begin with, I’ve narrowed down my cover choices to three. in theory that could go on forever, and more covers could show up all the time. (I’m going with a pre-made one of a kind cover for this project.) But at some point I need to cut off the considering, and make a choice. Narrowing it down to three finalists will expedite that process. Two of them are just designs and one of them has an image on it. I’ll make that decision by next Monday.
A word on pre-made covers. I don’t know if I will use them with every project, but my impression of them is that if you go to the right place and do a little homework, they can work just as well as a custom design, and for far less money. I don’t agree that in order to show the world I’m serious about my project i need to prove how much money I’ve invested in it. How much money I invest is my business, not the consumer’s. Besides, the true investment is time and attention when it comes to a book, isn’t it? The day may come when I hire a designer for a cover. But for this first self-published venture, I find that any of the three finalists I’ve chosen, plus many others, would work. Covers are important because they are what grab the attention of a reader as they scroll through their electronic device of choice, looking for a book to get lost in. But the fact that they are important doesn’t mean that they have to be the most expensive and time consuming aspect of your book in order for them to be effective.
If you’re pondering self-publishing for the first time, don’t get caught up in book cover elitism. If you can design your own, or can afford to tell someone else exactly what you want, that is great. But if not, you can do worse than solid an effective. I don’t think the entire nature of the book has to be revealed by the cover, and i think that’s an unnecessary but increasingly common bar that the community has set for authors. If it’s balanced, eye catching and professional, and doesn’t stand in direct conflict with the type of book you’ve written (a vampire cover for a book with no vampires) you’ll be fine. Come back next week to hear more about my final selection.
I’m also in the process of giving each story another proofreading pass. This is I believe the fourth pass, and I am on the fourth story. (Out of ten, of course.) It can be tedious, but of course necessary. So far I’ve not had to correct much, and what I have corrected has been structural. Wrong words or two many spaces, etc. I think it unlikely at this point that I will edit any of the stories for content or plot at this stage. They are all set in that department. My bigger concern, as I’ve mention in previous posts, is whether or not my epub formatting stuff will look right. Again, you can’t really check for that before you upload something to a site to sell it. I can check links, make sure there are no tabs in the document and that sort of thing, but in the end it is going to be an act of blind faith as to whether the document will looking like a readable ebook or not. That truly is the second most nerve wracking thing about this.
The most nerve wracking is of course the marketing angle. I’ve been sharing my adventure in producing this collection here on the blog with all of you. (Hoping my followers on this blog will be checking out a copy. Let me here from you guys, please!) I also tweet about it quite a bit. I have a few other things here and there up my sleeve. But I know I won’t be able to do the massive marketing campaigns that some fellow indy authors have done. Not yet, anyway. Perhaps in the future. But even if I had more money to do more things, there are certain tactics I’d never be good at. So I am working to compensate for that by finding alternative ways to go about it. I don’t quite have to worry about all of that yet, but I have been dipping my toes in here and there.
It all starts with an official launch of the book. I hope to have selected that date to announce to you in the next two weeks. A price for the collection as well.
Am I excited for all of this? I don’t think that is the word yet. There is so much to do still, and so much to figure out. And much of it is so new to me, even though my scale of operations is no where near as big as that of some authors. But I’m hoping that the excitement for releasing the volume will build. I believe it will.
In the mean time, I’d like to hear any thoughts or advice you have about my endeavor. So please, if you’re reading this, leave me some comments. Or if you don’t want to do that, email me at tyunglebower@gmx.com or tweet at me @TyUnglebower. I could use the support as I continue the journey.
An Open Letter to a Victim of My Wrath
For the purposes of this open letter, the subject will be addressed as Margaret. -Ty
Dear Margaret,
I apologize, and ask your forgiveness. You, a stranger I had never seen before, nor have seen since, were the victim of my wrath on a day when I had to be angry. I will go one further. It was on a day, in fact during an entire era of my life where I had to hate someone.
Actually I had to hate several people. Many people. All people, I suppose. It was people I had loved that had done such damage to me that year, so how good could people be as a species? There was zero hope in my life at that point. There was virtually nothing in the world that I found redeeming. Humanity was filth to me in most cases outside of my own family. Motivation was non-existent. Pain and destruction were everywhere and no matter how loudly I cried out for help when it all started, nobody was there to show me a way out of it. That makes a person hurt, angry, bitter, and any number of other things that can and do slowly destroy the soul. Though I no longer, thank god, feel as I did when I attacked you, I can’t help but wonder if I was in some sense permanently damaged by the feelings and perceptions I held back then, or by the attack I launched on you.
Still, that is of no matter to you, who had merely the misfortune of being on duty when I and my hell came to your place of employment.
To be honest, Margaret, I don’t think you were performing your job particularly well that day. Maybe it was a bad day or time in your life as well, or maybe it just wasn’t the job for you. Maybe you were new, I don’t know. And I didn’t care then, I assure you. Whatever the case, things seemed to take longer when it was my turn than they should have. Longer than they had for other people there that day. Longer than I, in my impatience was willing to wait.
You see, when someone is as far down as I was, without friends, hope, decency to cling to, every misfortune is magnified. You get to thinking that if every significant thing in life has to go wrong each and every single solitary day, the little moments should at least be able to fall into place. Little moments like buying things in a place of business without incident.
So when even the smallest of things don’t go right, (like having to deal with a cashier that is confused about something for more than a moment or two), hell breaks loose. You can’t rage at the big things which are killing you, so you rage at the small things that are right in front of you, chipping away at your ability to do go even an hour without melting down. And when that happens, you call someone a name. I qualify, when that happened to me at that exact moment in my life, I called someone a name. I called you a name. A name I won’t repeat here, but one that I assure you, in that moment, was designed to hurt. To anger.
In my head, Margaret, your perceived incompetence was making me quite angry, for all of the reasons I explained above. And since I couldn’t get you to stop doing the thing that was making me angry, I resorted to evening the score. If I had to be upset, I was going to make damn sure that you were quite upset as well. So I called you a name. These many years later, I regret it, even though at that moment I did not.
I of course have no idea if what I did had the desired effect. For all I know, you got called that half a dozen times that day. It might have bounced off of you with no impact at all. You certainly didn’t seem more than momentarily surprised by what I said. You didn’t retaliate. (A testament to your professionalism.) In a way I hope my attack was ineffective, because then I could at least live with the fact that I was an asshole among many you dealt with in that job.
However, the chances are equally good that it did not just bounce off of you. I imagine that it doesn’t bounce off of most normal people when others verbally attack them in public as I did you. And it is that possibility, even nearly thirteen years later, that keeps the incident alive in my head and my heart. You deserve this apology even if what I said meant nothing to you, because the act of saying it was wrong. But if you were affected, (as I designed it back then), I doubt I will ever fully atone for it within my own morality, as a man far removed from what I was that day.
If only you worked a regular shift at a place I visited on a frequent basis. Then by the time I thawed from my overall hatred of life I could have sought you out directly and said this years ago. If only years worth of coming back to civility and decency as my gaping wounds finally began to scab over could have happened in the course of an hour, and allowed me to say these things that same day. Actually, if only that healing, or at least some degree of peace had come to me sooner than I had come to your place of business, I would have never attacked you in the first place.
But I did say something in the first place. Never will I have lived a life wherein I did not say it. Part of what is perhaps karmic punishment for my behavior when I was lost is that I see myself attacking you again and again sometimes, and I have to concentrate to gently remove it from my mind. (Sometimes I succeed.)
My only recourse after all of these years was this open letter which you will never see. But should you see it, and know who I am even now, there are two two things that may or may not make you feel better about my attack on you. The first being, as I have said, that I am sorry just about every time it comes up in my head, which is often. I have never, looking back, fully gotten over my choice. Perhaps that satisfies you.
Secondly, though I still loose my patience with poor service at places of businesses from time to time, and I still have no problem letting people know I am annoyed with it, I have never again been that angry about it. Never again have I called someone the name I called you. And even in my sometimes justified anger over poor service, I see a shadow of you standing nearby, to remind me that I am not that man anymore. I’m not the man that needs to attack people even if they are poor at what they do. Even if in fact they are not decent people. I am better than that now. Perhaps knowing that satisfies you in some way as well.
You will forever remain anonymous to me, so I’ll never know directly if you have forgiven me or even remember this incident. But I am not anonymous. My name is Ty Unglebower, and I willfully, verbally attacked you in public without justification. I own it.
sincerely, Ty Unglebower
This post is part of the Open Letter Continuum.
Ty Unglebower 